Style Inclusive – Part Two
Welcome to the second installment of Style Inclusive, a body-confidence series created to spread the message that each body is worthy to be seen as beautiful, no matter what that body looks like. We want you to stop chasing perfection and quiet your inner bully. You can find contentment with your body right now. It’s a tall order, but we hope that by seeing our two different bodies wearing the same outfit will help you get closer to getting dressed with JOY.
If you missed it, read the first Style Inclusive Post.
And this week we’re both styling a cozy, sweater pencil skirt from Anthropologie. It’s honestly like putting on a hug. Is it weird that’s it’s around your booty? You’ll have to try it on and tell me. 😉
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Who’s we? I realized that in the first Style Inclusive I didn’t properly introduce you to Angie, of Act Your Style. I’m losing it. So Friends, meet Angie. We have so much in common.
She’s a married mom to three boys. Yeah, another boy-mom. We both love music, have led worship and our dads were both pastors. And this isn’t even what drew us to each other! Angie and I have the same mission, and that’s to help women see that their value isn’t in their outer package.
We both want you to get that and that’s why we’re doing this series! But we realize it’s a big ask. Especially in our current digital era and the amount of time we spend looking at the “beautiful people”. But, Girl, you can dress your body with beauty, confidence, and joy because you ARE one of the “beautiful people“.
So Enough Already – Your Inner Bully is on Over-Drive
Stop punishing yourself. PLEASE. Please stop punishing yourself for being you, with your perceived imperfect body and so-called flaws. I KNOW It’s not easy, but let’s tell our inner bully to “Shut-up”. And guess what? No matter what our age, size, or shape, we have all thought negative things about ourselves at one time or another.
No thigh gap? “I’m so ugly”
Stretch marks? “I’m a freak”
Extra weight? “I’ll never be beautiful”
Cellulite? “So gross”
Saggy tummy? “I’ll never be sexy again.”
They’re lies, lies I tell ya! And you’ve bought into the LIES. You’ve believed them for far too long. And you’ve punished yourself for nearly your entire life.
Stop Believing a Fickle Society’s Standard
When does it stop? When you’re “perfect” by societal standards?
That’s not ever going to happen. Never.
Society is too weak and too frail to keep the same standards forever. Just look back at old photos of yourself and the “cool” hair and makeup trends of the day. That’ll tell you something about how standards of beauty change. So if they are your roadmap, ball it up and throw it away. Hook up to a better GPS (God’s Perfection Standards).
You might also be interested in Learning Body Positivity from a Dog (This is a post where you can jump into my crazy brain and see how I think. But, I think it’s pretty brilliant.) 😉
Believe Your Creator Instead
What if I told you that when you know Jesus, you already EXIST IN HIS PERFECTION. You exist from a place of beauty, simply because you are His and He made you.
Quiet Your Inner Bully for the Happiest Life
It is HARD work to reverse this type of inner-bully thinking. H-A-R-D because we’ve been programmed by images that portray “perfect”, tight bodies with perky boobs, rock hard abs, and trim physiques as the ideal. What’s more disturbing than epitomizing those images as physical perfection, is that we begin to believe (and are possibly being told) that that’s what happiness and joy look like.
But Girlfriend, let me tell you emphatically – IT’S NOT! And we owe it to ourselves and woman-kind to stop trash-talking ourselves. Self-bullying is a two-edged sword because while we’re becoming overly critical of ourselves, we’re making other women feel bad about themselves too.
Think about it. If I’m talking about how much I hate my bootyliciousness around someone who longs to have curves, she becomes even more self-conscious of her perceived lack or vice-versa.
Shut that Inner-Bully Up – Just Do It!
So, let’s agree to quiet our inner bully for each other, ok? Let’s do it for our husbands. Let’s do it for our daughters and sons. And yes, let’s even do it for ourselves.
I know it’s a struggle. Looking in the mirror doesn’t get any easier these days. But, what if we looked into the mirror and said, “You’re pretty stinkin’ awesome!” Because we are!
Can you tell me one thing you love about yourself? Mine would probably be my smile. 🙂
I am so happy I found your blog! I LOVE your positive attitude; you’ve helped me to love my body as it is, lumps, bumps, stretchmarks and all 🙂
Thank you for being you!
Aww, you’re so sweet Kim. Those are the BEST compliments I could receive.
Morning from Texas!
Thank you, Paula, for a lovely start to my day. Praise God for His words of truth and thank you for reminding me of them. (As a teacher, one of my favorite sayings is “I love review! I get to remind you of what you already know.” We need those reminders.
Blessings to you and yours!
That’s a great point… we already know this stuff but we get sucked into the
Both of you ladies look great. I think naming “inner bully” goes a long way in telling it to “shut it!” Agreed on having value through our redemption in Christ. Maybe that goes to show how physical beauty is an idol? Just a thought.
I agree Kim. Anything we put ahead of God is in idol territory. I’ve got a lot of “clearing” out to do. 😘
Paula, this post is perfect! I love how you described the inner-bully. I also love how we have the same theme, but two very different posts today. Yours speaks to the heart, and mine is more practical advice. Now I’m left wishing mine was a little more along the lines of yours, but I realize the irony of my own inner-bully in that statement ;). I adore you friend!
Oh my word! That’s exactly how I felt about our first Style Inclusive post. I went practical advice and then didn’t even do justice to you in introduction. 😊 But lets give ourselves the grace to realize sometimes are minds are just leaning a certain way at certain times. 😬 You ALWAYS inspire me!
Loving the truth you are speaking out to women of all sizes!! My fave thing about me is something I hated as a child – a pretty intense cowlick smack in the front of my head! In fact, there are two of them making my bangs part in a weird way! I stopped hating it sometime in my 30’s and now at 56, I am embrace it! Well at least most days I do!🤪
You’re adorable! Relatable! Just discovering you in February 2021!
Yay! Welcome aboard Annie. I’m so glad you’re here.