The Case of the Missing Confidence

Be a Tulle Skirt in a Sea of LBD’s

This month’s Ageless Style Link-up theme is All in the Details. Debbie of Fashion Fairy Dust chose our theme and she knows that details can indeed make or break an outfit. I’ve never been great at the details whether in fashion or décor, so I guess that’s why I like to keep them simple and classic. While I’ll give you all the details of this outfit, what I want to talk about this month is the case of my missing confidence.

Here we go, marching right out of winter into this month’s Ageless Style Link Up. Get it? MARCHing? Ah, how I do love my own jokes. 😉 The real joke is that in my part of the country we’re not marching out of winter just yet. Sigh! Be sure to stop by and meet our guest co-host Shelbee of Shelbee On the Edge.

Over 50 style | Full figured Fashion | Tulle Skirt | Plus sized fashion | Confidence at any Size | Ageless Style

 

THE Detail

Confidence is a little detail that nobody should be without. Whether or not you get your accessories or fabrics “right”, we can pull off any outfit when you have put your confidence on.  But it’s all too easy to let a fat day or bad hair day derail our self-confidence. Worse than that though, is feeling like we’ve come up short when we compare ourselves to other women. There’s a fine line when between finding inspiration in all these social media photos or seeing them with a harsh comparison and feeling like we’ll never measure up. 

Missed Detail One

I recently had to dress for a fancy fundraising dinner, with no specified dress code. That was the first missing detail. Don’t you hate that? Interpreting what any dress code means is tough enough, but when none is indicated on the invitation, one has to become a bit of a sleuth to figure it out. So by looking online at photos from previous year’s events, I noted that most women wore black dresses. The LBD is always a perfect choice when you don’t know what to wear. That’s a great style detail to be aware of, but…..

Missed Detail Two

I didn’t have a little black dress. WHAT?!?! I know. How had I let this happen? However, I was also in the midst of my annual January spending freeze and didn’t want to break it for this one-time event. So I tried to improvise with a black skirt and shirt. That was a major fail and only resulted in a slippery slide into depression when I looked at the photo I had taken of myself in said combo. I looked like I was hiding a giant donut in my midsection. I’m not exaggerating. See exhibit one below.  I was also not going to wear any more control garments than necessary as it was before my recent surgery and the hot flashes, sweats and general feelings of self-loathing I was experiencing were nauseating.

Fashion over 50 | Plus sized Fashion | Sometimes an outfits looks better in our head than it does in reality. If you don't feel like an outfit looks good don't wear it.

Confidence is a FEELING. If you don’t FEEL good in an outfit (or your donut gut is showing) you won’t be able to muster confidence no matter what. Don’t wear it.

I was going to have to dig deeper into the recesses of my closet and get creative. I had purchased this tulle skirt from Garnet Hill quite some time ago and had been looking for an excuse to wear it. It wasn’t black, but it was tulle. Nothing says pretty princess more than tulle in my mind. But what to wear with it?

Tulle Skirt | Fashion over 50 | Ageless Style | Style at any Age | Full Figured Women

I had originally opted to keep everything else black and just add fancy baubles at the neck. But that very day I had been inspired by my friend Shauna, at Chic Over 50 in her Instagram photo. She wore a tulle skirt with a wrap tied up at her waist. Could I dare be as cute as that? She’s the cutest little pixie of a girl, but I was going to try to channel her creativity.

STYLE TIP: If you have full hips, opt for a tulle skirt with minimal layers of tulle. One layer of tulle should be plenty. We bring our own fullness. 

I came up with this ensemble and after modeling the two looks for The Hubs decided to go with the more eclectic and out of the box wrap and skirt.

Tulle Skirt | Garnet Hill Tulle Skirt | Full Figured Fashion | Fashion Over 50

 

Missed Detail Three

Honestly, I’m not sure I would have felt right in anything that night. It was one of THOSE days. I don’t like these events. I would rather be in jammies all day, every day, but particularly this day. I felt like this outfit screamed, “BOOBS! BOOBS! BOOBS!” I was anxious leading up to surgery, and every other thing seemed unnecessary. But I thought I looked respectable, and I smelled good, so what more can a girl ask for? Confidence, that’s what! That’s missing detail three.

Buck up Buttercup!

When I walked into the venue and saw local news anchors, bankers, physicians and the sea of LBD’s I had no choice but to put on my big girl panties and pretend I had confidence I didn’t feel. I would have loved to say to The Hubs, “Let’s just donate some money and go get burgers.” But we were meeting friends there and were trying to get ideas for our own charity fundraiser later this year.

Details of a tulle skirt | Be A Tulle Skirt in a LBD World

 

No one ever has to know that you don’t have 100 black dresses in your closet, but you chose to be the standout in a tulle skirt. 

When You Can’t Make It – FAKE IT

Guess what? I made it. I didn’t die. I wasn’t ridiculed. And I got some creative ideas that will help us raise money for a good cause when it’s our turn. Do I wish I would have worn something else? Yeah, maybe the first choice or something else entirely.

However, what I realized sitting there looking at everyone else, okay, just the women, was that some of them probably felt just like me. Some of them looked like confidence on a stick. But I’ll venture to say that while I saw others fidget with their outfits, they too were putting, “Get new LBD” on their mental shopping list.

Sometimes we get all the details of an outfit right and feel our very best. There will be other times when we don’t get it 100% perfect. And yes, sometimes we will miss the mark completely.

Fashion Over 50 | Body Confidence | Full Figured Fashion

 

 

 

Next time you’re stuck for just the right outfit, get creative. And don’t forget to give yourself credit for being creative, courageous and fearless. Wearing black may be the safe choice if you have it, but it can also be boring and redundant. We can be the princess in a tulle skirt in a ballroom full of basic black dresses. No one ever has to know (unless you write a blog post about it) that you don’t have 100 black dresses in your closet, but you chose to be the standout.

And You WILL Make It

Confidence takes discipline and practice. It’s like putting one foot in front of the other. Keep going, and we’ll get there. We’ll have setbacks and rough days, but we will hone our personal style and build our confidence.

So get dressed. Go out. Be a queen. Also, always make certain that the under layers of your tulle skirt isn’t tucked into your undies before leaving the ladies room. That’s a harder comeback to confidence than most of us can handle.

We can do this together,

 

 

 

 


Shop this look

 



The Link Up 

As always, have fun finding fashion inspiration and visit and follow at each host on at least 2 social media outlets. And link your own fashion post below. 

 

Daenel ~ Living Outside the Stacks blog, instagram, pinterest, twitter

Debbie ~ Fashion Fairy Dust bloglovin, blog, instagram, pinterest, facebook, twitter

Jennie ~ A Pocketful of Polka Dots blog, instagram, facebook, pinterest, twitter, bloglovin

Jodie ~ Jodie’s Touch of Style blog, facebook, instagram, pinterest, bloglovin, twitter

Jonet ~ Fabulously Chic Over 50 blog, facebook, , instagram, pinterest, twitter

Kellyann ~ This Blonde’s Shopping Bag blog, instagram, bloglovin, twitter

Lisa ~ Coast to Coast blog, facebook, instagram, twitter, pinterest

Paula ~ Dimples on my What blog, facebook, pinterest, instagram, twitter

Shelly ~ The Queen in Between blog, instagram, bloglovin, pinterest, facebook

   Our Guest:

Shelbee of shelbeeontheedge.com

Meet Shelbee | Blog; Instagram; Facebook


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*This post contains affiliate links that will earn me a small commission should you purchase through a link. You will never pay any more for a product because of this association. 

Confidence | Tulle Skirt | Fashion Over 50 | Full Figured Fashion

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25 Comments

  1. If I had been at that event, looking around at the sea of LBDs, you would be the one woman that I would want to go and talk to! Even if you didn’t feel confident, you look it in this outfit. And what a fabulous outfit it is. I LOVE tulle skirts (I only have one and it’s black!) and I reckon you’ve styled it to perfection.
    Suzy xx
    http://www.suzyturner.com
    P.S My blog has had a re-vamp! Please come and check it out <3

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      I wish you had been there Suzy. Nobody talked to anybody they didn’t know. It was a strange situation, but it was a great cause so kids that need therapy either physical or emotional get it by riding and interacting with horses.

      Hugs,
      Paula

  2. /

    Love your creativity with pulling this together! Isn’t it the best part of seeing others styles and being able to use what you have to create your own spin? Great job girl.

    Shelly | The Queen in Between

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      Shelly,

      I’m inspired by you ladies every. single. day.

      Hugs,
      Paula

  3. Paula, I love everything about this post! I do love a good tulle skirt as a stand out piece. And being fuller figured myself there are magical ways to make tulle skirts work…which you obviously know because you did just that! I actually really like both ways you have styled your tulle skirt equally. Both are fabulous, chic, and sassy. I also really like the all black outfit, but I know exactly how you feel. If you aren’t feeling the confidence in it, it just isn’t going to work. I actually had a day like that a few weeks back and I said “Forget an outfit shoot today. I am just putting on slouchy jeans and a slouchy tee shirt.” I got totally in my comfort zone and ended up in the most fabulous outfit ever. I will link it up here (“Strong Like Me”)…just so you know on that day, I felt like a giant bloated whale of a PMS hot mess! Nobody would have ever known…until now! Ha. Thanks so much for having me as the co-host this month. This was so much fun!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      Thanks so much Shelbee. I’ll check out that post. Your post proves that we look our best when we’re wearing what feels the best.

      Hugs & Stuff,
      Paula

  4. /

    Paula, I just love you. Every time I read your posts I cannot help but laugh and identify. While I do enjoy wearing a LBD, I also enjoy standing out in a crowd with a tulle skirt. You, my friend, not only rocked a tulle skirt but rocked it with leopard! Simply loving it. I totally agree with you about confidence being that essential detail. Hope you are healing well, dear girl. 🙂

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      Thanks so much Jennie. Deep down, we’re all more alike and feel the same things as every other woman. We seem to forget that when we look at the edited, best version of ourselves photos we share online. We think nobody else has about 25 photos out of 35 that are complete throw-aways.

      Hugs my friend,
      Paula

  5. Oh my gosh Paula! First of all this is my first time to your blog and you are a doll! I could so totally relate to your story about that evening. AND…shouldn’t these events be held in the morning anyway? I mean when we’re fresh, haven’t eaten and gotten our bloat on and just in general have more energy to deal with it? I hate having to get gussied up in the evening. You looked great and did a wonderful job of pulling from your closet and taking cues from others who inspired you. Fake it til’ you make…that’s exactly what a friend told me last year and I love it!!!

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      Oh, wouldn’t that be great Lisa? I have a friend who is always commiserating with me about “night time” events and our loathing of them. We’re already like two old ladies when it comes to that.

      Hugs,
      Paula

  6. jodie filogomo
    /

    You always know how to make a fabulous point, Paula. And confidence is the best accessory know to mankind!!!
    Besides, I want to say that the tulle skirt is WAY more amazing than a LBD. Everyone wears a LBD, but only the best wear a tulle skirt!! Love the skirt, love the outfit, and love your honesty. Because we’ve all had those days—I used to stress about my hair (there’s never a good hair day in my world), but I’ve learned that nobody else really cares, and it’s more my issue!!
    I’m so glad you rocked the tulle skirt—and I DEFINITELY want to see it again soon!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
    ps. your curves? They are fabulous!!

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      Exactly Jodi! The point I didn’t make is that most of the time we’re all too wrapped up in our own insecurity to see the flaw in other people. Unless we’re at Walmart… because, well, you know. 😉

      Hugs,
      Paula

  7. /

    I really think you step out in confidence each and every time because you love yourself and therefore you Shine. Kudos!

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      That is the kindest thing to say Neti. Thank you Love.

      Paula

  8. I so relate to this post, I have been there. I have a very eclectic style and have been the tulle skirt in a sea of LBDs. And I’ve wanted the floor to swallow me whole. I love that you put it in perspective though, there are other women who look like they fit in, but inside are just as uncomfortable or awkward.

    You look lovely. I adore the tulle and your sense of humor.

  9. You got it Paula, confidence is so important and most of us are completely faking it till we make it! I try to remind myself all the time that what I’m feeling isn’t so unique – others feel it too and that helps. But who the heck wants to wear an LBD like everyone else? Now that you mention it, I have some black dresses but not the “one” that I pull out and wear to special events. In fact several years ago I went on a cruise with a bunch of girlfriends. I didn’t bring an LBD for the formal night but they all did. We had a formal photo taken and when we got home my nephew commented that everyone looked like they were going to a funeral except me! Ha! I was wearing a colorful dress that I was comfortable and confident in. So, yeah, I know I can do it because I have before. But confidence is like a fire – it needs to be stoked and fed or it is fleeting. Some days are better than others.
    All this rambling to say, I enjoyed reading your post and I relate!
    xo,
    Kellyann

  10. You looked great in the black ensemble too. That would have been cute with some dress booties or knee boots. The black top and pearls were also very lady-like. Just like Austin, you never lost your mojo, you had it all along 😉

  11. Shawn
    /

    I thought you looked sleek and stunning in the all black outfit. Something about monochromatic is so classy.

  12. I love you tulle skirt and the leopard print belt was perfect. I am usually good with whatever I decide to wear until the pictures show up and I see what a mess I really was. There is something about spontaneous pictures that only a few can pull off.

  13. Robin
    /

    Love this post (as I do most😉)! You are awesome!🌸🤗🌸

  14. /

    What an excellent, excellent post, Paula! I can Sooo relate to the lack of confidence moments and faking it ’til you make it! I think you looked fabulous and would have been the girl I wanted to hang with at that party!
    So appreciate your humor and transparency!💗

  15. Tee
    /

    You know what confidence is? Women who refuse to dress like the rest of the sheep pack and dares to have the backbone to dress like no one else in the room. I’ll take just one woman like that over a 100 any day.

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      Thanks Tee! The more we celebrate and respond to those who don’t conform to typical standards of beauty, style or size, the more we’ll be telling the world that we’re over perfection. 😉

      Hugs,
      Paula

  16. Okay friend…I gotta say this outfit was definitely on point for attending an event where everyone else was wearing the expected LBD! You look ah-maze-ing!! And seriously, who better to model oneself after than Shauna? I couldn’t agree more…confidence is key. Always. In everything. Every single day.
    Debbie
    http://www.fashionfairydust.com

    • Paula
      Author
      /

      I know we all have our days that we have trouble finding our confidence. But, you always look like you walk and style in confidence.

      Hugs,
      Paula

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