leaving my mark on waco

I’m writing the weirdest funniest review of a trip to Magnolia Market in Waco, TX you may ever read. I’m not a great photographer so you will see better photos elsewhere. And words alone cannot do justice to the work the Gaines’ have done in TX. But you may find this entertaining and just the laugh you need today.

 You must first understand that I LOVE Chip and Joanna Gaines as much as any one of you. I just know that I might be related to either one of them. Joanna for her love of design and Chip for his incredibly goofy sense of humor. If we ever met, they both would probably want to be life-long friends with me!

Secondly, know that I find potty humor to be the very pinnacle of funny, especially anything to do with passing gas. If you don’t, I kind of feel sorry for you. If that is the case, look away but know you will  miss out on my self-deprecating fun!

I am blessed with a really great family! I was treated to the trip of a lifetime back in May, when my brother-in-law treated my sister and me with a trip to Waco, TX and Magnolia Market while he was there for business. Yeah, like free to me… tra-la-la! It was a shorty, only 2 full days there, so I felt like I wanted to make the most of every moment we had. It was spitting a cold rain and was only 44° when I left Indiana to fly into sunny and very warm Dallas.

totally awesome vacation slides

I found TX to be very lovely and looked a tiny bit like home to me. My brother-in-law had to work the first day, so my sister and I were off to hit Magnolia Market straight away. When we saw those silos there in that inauspicious town setting, our hearts were aflutter. You will read better reviews elsewhere, but what I can tell you is that the quality of what they have created in Waco is everything you expect it to be by what you see on television. You will not be disappointed, if you get the opportunity to go.

 That same day we headed to Harp Design Co. to see Clint’s shop, which sits right next to the reno the Gaines’ did for his family. Then off to McGregor to gawk at the beautiful bed and breakfast and on to Jimmy Don’s place to see what was up there.  We were on a mission my friends!

It was super-hot, especially compared to where I had come from. And although I didn’t feel bad, I had a touch of, you know… the scoots (as my daughter-in-law says). I only had 2 days and I wasn’t going to waste it being sick from dehydration so I was chugging water like crazy. We met my brother-in-law for dinner after our country side gallivant and stuffed ourselves with Mexican food. We wanted to walk around a bit before retiring for the night so we headed to a shopping center near our hotel and set about looking around in World Market. You know, we hadn’t seen enough home goods for the day.

It all started when my BIL let a little air escape! We all three giggled but I didn’t go all out, crazy as I’m apt to do when someone let’s an air biscuit fly. However, my stomach started cramping a little, so I said to my sister that I may want to go the bathroom before browsing further. She said that she should probably go as well. To our disappointment, there was only one stool in the bathroom, but being the sisters we are, we headed in together. I kindly offered her the first go, since I wasn’t sure mine would be quick… The “scoots” sound short but they often aren’t ya know. 😉

just can’t stop laughing!

Then it happened…. The 2^nd of the little “stinkers” was released by my sister sitting there on the commode and the giggles started in earnest! I was laughing hard enough to push my own extra loud guzzler out against the wall I was leaning on and my sister and I both guffawed in laughter. “That sounded like somebody was knocking on the door” said my sister through squinted eyes and a red face. Unfortunately, I could not reign my laughter in when I felt that first little trickle escape! With my laughter in full force, there was little I could do to control it. I must have had a terrible look of panic on my face as I tiptoed as if on one leg toward that drain I saw in the middle of the bathroom floor. I was undoing my pants while using every pelvic floor muscle I had to restrain the torrent straining to pour out. My sister blathered out in her own ‘I’m sorry’ panic stricken voice, “I can’t stop!”  I’m not certain how I thought I could have gotten my pants down if I had made it to that drain before the dam was released in full. No Kegel could have withstood it, for when it let loose it squirted out of me straight FORWARD! If you’re a guy reading this, understand that girls do NOT urinate forward. We have no real control of that!

no shame!

oh yes I did!

I splashed across the bathroom floor trying to clean the space and myself up a bit while my sister went to find me something to hide my drenched self. In the end we skulked out of the store, still laughing and setting a new fashion with a scarf wrapped around my pee soaked pants.

I told you I am blessed with a great family. Family will get you out of a jam. They will walk out of a store with you even with your pants soaked and shoes probably still sloshing a little. They will drive you back to the hotel while you sit on a plastic bag as to not soak their rental car. They will sit in the laundry room of a hotel with you all evening while you wash your soiled clothes. And they will even look on an embarrassing memory from a trip of a lifetime as a good one.