Do you know why you should throw fashion rules out the door? Because the fashion police are not real!
Okay, that pretty much sums up this entire article, so I’ll see you later. 😉
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BUT WHAT ARE THESE FASHION RULES?
Goodness, there are so many so-called fashion rules that I can’t even remember them all.
- Wear a fitted top if the bottoms are full or wide-legged.
- No hoop earrings after the age of 40.
- Don’t wear cropped pants.
- No white after Labor Day.
- Your shoes should match your belt.
- Never mix brown and black, brown and navy, white with colors….
- Blah, blah, blah…
- Ad-nauseam…
WE’RE OVERTHINKING IT!
I like what I like, and “flattering” isn’t always part of that decision.
However, in today’s social media world, we consume so much “fashion content” from people who may or may not know what they’re talking about that we are not only tempted to overconsume, both visually and financially, but we also think WAY TOO MUCH about what we wear.
So much so, I wonder if it’s one of the reasons we struggle with self-confidence and self-esteem issues. The comparison game alone is a huge downer. But also, subconsciously, is there a rule or rules in the back of our minds that keep us from feeling free to get dressed and not worry about it?
Maybe it’s just me…sometimes.
Look, I get it. I want to look nice, too, and I feel good knowing my clothes flatter me from every angle. I’ve even written posts about weird things that might be unflattering after a certain age.
You can read The Makeup Mistakes that Age You, here and The Accessory Mistakes That Make You Look Old, here.
But, it’s easy to forget that being a fashion model isn’t the goal. The only runway most of us walk is the one up and down the grocer’s isles or back and forth to the bathroom. 🤭
It’s perfectly okay to dress for comfort or create a “vibe” that feels authentic to you, even if it “breaks a fashion rule”.
HOW I BROKE THE FASHION RULES
PANTS wearing a 2X (no stretch) || GRAPHIC TEE wearing an XXL || SANDALS || EARRINGS
Case in point: I ran errands the other day in this “less than flattering” outfit.
What was the fashion rule broken, you ask: Plus-size, big butt, big thigh woman in overly loose, cropped-ish pants also wearing hoop earrings after the age of 40.
First, it’s proportionately off but there’s just something about baggy pants that I love! I found these on clearance at Marshall’s and could not pass them up, and I’ve already worn them many times. LOVE!
And second, I will probably request to be buried in my hoop earrings because they are my favorite!
And guess what?
NOBODY CARED! I didn’t see anyone giving me sideways glances, anyway.
As I was out and about, I stopped into a local cafe/gift shop to look for a small wooden plant riser and maybe a mortar and pestle set to use as I restyle the open shelving in my kitchen, and I ran into some friends.
Yikes! And here I was, breaking the fashion rules!
Here’s another thing: I don’t remember much about what my friends wore either.
But I do remember the sound of Julie’s signature laugh and the smile on her face, the kindness of one who offered to give me a small wooden riser, and how they all brainstormed other local places I might find it!
I hope what they remembered about me was something funny I said or that connection we made over one of them being like a second mother to one of my daughters-in-law when she was in high school with her daughter.
Maybe they remember my graphic T-shirt because of what it said, but for the most part, I don’t want people to see my clothes first; I want them to see me—the true essence of me. My style is only an extension of who I am.
SO, THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULD THROW THE FASHION RULES OUT THE WINDOW
Fashion rules have their place if taken with a grain of salt and sprinkled with plenty of your own style vibes. But I think it’s best to throw out fashion rules that don’t feel authentic to you.
Moral of the story: KEEP FASHION IN IT’S PLACE.
Fashion is a “thing,” just not the most important thing. 😘
I just wanted you to know.
What are the fashion rules you always break and the ones you never break?
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Love love love the comfy look! I think when we are comfortable we feel confident and exude it!
I have yet to cut my hair to the soccer mom length, I paint my fingers and toes colors that are not subtle… currently a mirror silver . Anything goes these days so do what makes you happy ! Yes yes yes you will be remembered for your wit and welcoming smile !
Author
Aww, thanks Kimberly! I couldn’t agree more; comfort equals confidence in my book.
Hugs,
Paula
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I struggle, let me tell ya. I have been trying to get over the comparison thing and just dress like me, much for the same reason you mentioned: I want people to see me, remember me, not what I am wearing. Thank you so much for the encouragement! And I love my hoop earrings, too!
Author
Oh, Sarah, you are welcome. The struggle is real and I thought I might not be the only one who was kind of over it.
I don’t think we were meant to be exposed to so much “fashion stimulation”. It’s too much of a good thing. Maybe we should go back to the days of getting the Sears, Montgomery Wards, and Chadwick’s catalogs in the mail. 😉
Hugs,
Paula
YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!! Once again, you have hit the nail on its head!! I “ditto” everything you said, my friend!!
Author
Thanks Donna. It really starts messing with your head after a while. I think we need to “push away from the table” of “gotta have it” and stop obsessing about clothes so much.
Hugs to you!
Paula
This is so good! I have struggled with fashion so much since taking courses about body type and what to wear and what belongs in my closet.. it definitely has made me overthink and feel Insecure. I’ve always enjoyed clothes and now comfort is probably priority #1, but I am so thankful you wrote this, it relieves me of a lot of the burden I’ve felt!
Author
Burden. I think that’s a great way to describe it, Anne; the heavy feeling we can take on when we’re trying to choose ONLY the perfect pieces. I like that we can see “real people” with bodies similar to ours, wearing outfits on social media. But on the flip side, it can also feed more the comparison mindset when it doesn’t look exactly the same on us.
Our minds are also burdened by over consuming those visual images – too much of anything isn’t good. The struggle is real. But remember whose you are and that’s what really matters.
Hugs,
Paula
I feel the exact same way. Before retirement working in a management position I wore pants suits and felt safe and comfortable. After retirement I struggled finding my style. Also took personal styling courses and learned a lot but started to become more insecure because I was always overthinking. This is the first time I read that others have the same issue and I agree, it is a burden. Thank you, Anne, for sharing the burden 😉. And thank you, Paula for this important and thoughtful post 🙏. Greetings from Germany
Author
I’m so happy this resonated with you. I’m sure there are more women like you, me, and Anne who struggle with over thinking it.
Have a very blessed day!
Paula
AMEN, sister!!
Fashion rules? If there’s one I haven’t broken, I’d be surprised! I had no idea I wasn’t supposed to wear hoop earrings. I wear them all the time because my hair is long (probably longer than the rules say it should be). If I didn’t wear big old hoops, you wouldn’t see them. I also love big flowy things over flowy pants. And, don’t get me started on graphic tees…love them! I think fashion rules are made by people who just need something to write about…OK, I’ve written about them…but usually to say I’ve broken them. Do I get side eyes? You betcha! I mean, I’m currently rocking teal ends to my silver hair, and so many people comment on it. I’m sure many are also thinking, “Look at that old woman trying to look like a young thing.” But, you know what? I love the ability to change little things like my hair color (they’re fashion colors and wash out after a few weeks) because it’s an expression of my personality which has only grown bolder with time, age and wisdom. I finally have the wisdom that I should wear what I like and love even if no one else does! Do my clothes sometimes wear me? Absolutely! But, that’s OK, too, because I’m sure to catch someone’s eye that way! I love expressing myself through my clothes…I only wish I’d done it when I was younger!
Thanks, Paula, for this post (and every one)! I love your humor and the way you are just genuinely you!
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
Author
Preach, Marsha! 👏
Amen sister
This is what we need more of. Thank you!
Author
You’re welcome Tammy!
Love your statement:
“ Fashion is a “thing,” just not the most important thing.”
Your posts and viewpoint is so fun and refreshing!!
Thank you!
Author
Thanks so much, Netta! We all want to look nice and feel good in what we wear. But for me, I think I’m overwhelmed with, what feels like a “push” from so many online creators showing us multitudes of new items every single day. It also feeds into the pressure to look a certain way and “if we had THAT” we could.
I could say so much more, but I’ll leave it here and hope that as a “creator” myself, I can find the balance between inspiring women to find their style by using what they might already have, and adding some pieces if they don’t already have something similar.
Hugs,
Paula