This week I celebrate 3 years free of breast implants. Keyword –FREE! I thought I’d share an update with a few words of encouragement for women who have implants and want them out, have already gotten them out, as well as for those of you who don’t have them. Yep, you read that correctly – you don’t need to have had implants to be encouraged by this post.
However, I will say, having breast implants removed is a decision that not only leads to diminished breast implant illness symptoms but the healing goes deeper. It goes to the soul.
Today, I’m going to briefly talk about the emotional side of having my breast implants removed and what I’ve learned about accepting yourself along the way.
Yeah, this long-winded girl is going to attempt brevity. 😉
FATTER BUT LIGHTER
Here I am, three years after getting my breast implants removed. I don’t know what’s more exciting – that I still fit into this outfit or that my breasts no longer touch my waistband. ;-D
While my boobs are smaller, my body isn’t. But I feel lighter both physically and mentally. I feel FREE!
When I removed the breast implants I gained lightness and freedom when I unburden myself from the lie that big boobs made me better; more attractive and sexier.
It’s funny, 2018 was the year I got rid of the breast implants and gave up dying my hair, almost at the same time. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was the year I was going to remember what it felt like to be ME – the real me.
REMOVING THE COSTUME
I always said that after the first week of having the implants (when every time I stood up I thought they might slide down to my stomach) I felt like they were a part of me. But after I explanted, I knew that they never really did.
I immediately remembered what it felt like to not have a physical barrier between me and the world. Physically and emotionally, I was no longer “leading with breast”. 😉 Of course, physically hugging someone felt better, nothing stood between me and the huggee.
I have said that now when I look back at pictures of myself with dyed brown hair while I think it’s pretty, but to me, it looks like I was wearing a mask. If going gray was me finally taking off a mask, then getting breast implants removed was me taking off a costume.
And you know what? I’m not perfect, body or mind, but I love being me.
IT’S NOT JUST MY STORY
There are ten’s-of-thousands of women who have had similar experiences to mine. I recently read a post in the Breast Implant Illness and Healing Facebook group and it perfectly sums up was so many of us feel:
TRAPPED IN A CAGE OF MY OWN CONSTRUCTION
We build our own cages & live within them because we think they keep us safe. That they help us survive & thrive. As we grow up, with time, we add bars to our prison.
With every bit of information I was fed by the media, my own inner voice, words from others, rude comments from boys in school… it was the same message. I was not enough. I needed to change my body to be perfect & happy. I built these steel bars that held me back for nearly 12 years. However, every cage has a door & lock & I made the choice to set myself free.
I got breast implants to give myself confidence, to feel good, sexy & accepted. What I really got was 12 years of chronic rashes, anxiety, depression, mood swings, hair loss, brain fog, autoimmune disorders, shooting pain through my chest… Doctors told me it was food allergies, parasites & at one point I was told it may be cancer.
It was none of those. Instead, it was my body’s response to foreign objects I put inside my body. My body was slowly being poisoned by the toxic bags I had put in my chest, over my heart & vital organs. I was trapped in a cage of my own construction. The bars were tight, cold & lonely, I was so sick. I am so happy to say I am finally free. I’m officially 14 weeks post-op & I haven’t felt this good or this alive in so long.
DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE REAL YOU
I’m certainly not saying that we’re not real or genuine if we color our hair or wear makeup or try to be the best we can be. But as for me, now that I’ve understood the emotions from both sides of the situation, I won’t have anything else implanted or into my body.
Whether you have implants or not, there’s a lesson here. Don’t let society or social media, a man, or the entertainment industry tell you aren’t sexy or attractive unless you have fill in the blank.
It’s a lie and bondage that will move you further and further away from being you. And being YOU is good enough. In fact, being the real you is pretty awesome.